Desire to be married? Look a little Deeper!

Desire to be married? Look a little Deeper!

I read an interesting article by William McCray that listed some very helpful information concerning which men/women were most likely to commit to marriage. I didn’t agree with all the information given, being a pastor, naturally my point of reference is always Christo-centric. However, there was one particular point of information I found that I strongly agreed with.

Before I give the point of advice, let me tell you why I found this information so very needful. I live in Atlanta, GA. There are some unique challenges to dating in the “A”. (Although other cities may share these challenges,  yet in Atlanta dating/marrying is unusually challenging).

Once single and attempting to date in Atlanta, I can speak first hand to these challenges. Like,what I call  the “big 3” of dating in Atlanta: the 3 questions that seem to determine a man’s value and worth as a perspective mate: (Where do you live? What do you drive? and What do you do?).. failure to answer any  of these with less than impressive responses and you’re done son.

So when I came across this dating data/advice, it confirmed something that I’ve believed for sometime. I believe that there are lots of viable men for marriage  who gets over looked because superficial requirements. They get ignored by women who maintain allegiance to  unreasonable “lists” of “must haves” that has yet to prove fruitful. So, guys such as myself (who drove a Ford F150) would easily get overlooked.

So the point of advice that caught my eye was:

“Consider unpolished jewels, men who are just as nice, intelligent, hard-working, and successful, but lack looks, height, or social skills.
a. 88% of  women told the researchers that they had already tried the tall, suave, type, and he didn’t make a very good husband.”

Just as in most things in life, you must be able to see what isn’t always apparent to the eye.. sometimes you have to look a little deeper than the surface. You may have to be little flexible with the list of “most haves”.  Rather than placing value on what he drives, maybe place more value on what drives him.

Which is exactly what my wife did when she met me. She looked deeper. I didn’t drive an expensive car, my career  was NOT going to be the center of conversation at a cocktail party,  but I was hard working, consistent in my behavior, kept my word, demonstrated my love and commitment to her, and I lived my Christian walk before her.

In a city that can be very pretentious, a place  where you’re told “there’s NO good men in Atlanta”, and “all these guys are about game” .. I found my wife and my wife found me. All because of God’s favor, and our willingness to look a little deeper.


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